kanyewesticle:

i dont ship…i yacht. im not a low budget bitch

(via greetings)


vandigo:

orgasham:

methlemore:

orgasham:

masturbating-to-your-selfies:

102 chicken nuggets

why would you order 17 of 6 instead of 5 of 20… that shit’s expensive as hell

Getting 2 four pieces is cheaper then 1 6 piece know your nuggets

but getting 1 20 piece is cheaper than 3 6 pieces KNOW YOUR NUGGETS

this is how word problems for math books are started, isn’t it.

(via bands-and-crap)


allaboutnewgirl:

UH EXCUSE YOU MRS JOHNSON

allaboutnewgirl:

UH EXCUSE YOU MRS JOHNSON

(via newgirlthings)


ourloveissemperfii:

"One day in the subway, James saw a red cat with a wound to the leg that likely resulted from a fight with another cat. It was obvious that the cat needed help. James could not pass and took the cat to the vet. With a little medical treatment and prescription drugs, the cat quickly recovered. At that point, James found it impossible to say goodbye to Street Cat Bob. Bob followed James everywhere he went. As James played the guitar on the street and Bob sat nearby, revenues increased dramatically. People found it difficult to pass when they looked at the cute kitty. James went on to write a book describing their adventures in the street which was full of life – both dramatic and comedic. In the book, James says that he could not have imagined how meeting Bob would change his life. His friendship with the cat healed him from a life that had been very hard. Most likely, if Bob could speak, he would say the same thing.”

(via bands-and-crap)



callmeoutis:

armorgan66:

hints-of-sarcasm:

There needs to be a phrase for “I acknowledge your apology and appreciate it but it does not make things better.” instead of just saying “It’s okay.” all the time. 

I recognize the council has made an apology, but given that it is a stupid ass apology, I have elected to ignore it.

image

thank you director fury

(via bands-and-crap)


Have you beaten your depression?

(via josephmatic)



blackbarmitzvahs:

Can you imagine the conversation though?
Queen: I’m going
Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…
Queen: I’m going I want cake 
Chief of Staff:
Queen: 
Chief of Staff: 
Queen: I want cake

blackbarmitzvahs:

Can you imagine the conversation though?

Queen: I’m going

Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…

Queen: I’m going I want cake 

Chief of Staff:

Queen: 

Chief of Staff: 

Queen: I want cake

(via bands-and-crap)